My Last Hope
by Ushiromiya
Summary: Kyouko makes her way back into Mitakihara. With no place to stay and nowhere to go, she decides to wander aimlessly throughout the city. Along the way, she begins to realize many things that are both life changing, and potentially life ending...


_'I hate this world.'_

Kyouko strolled down the dark streets of Mitakihara, kicking a pop can along the way. With a pocky stick in her mouth and her hands in her pockets, she walked endlessly down a pitch black pathway with really no place to go any more.

_'Really... what am I doing here again?'_ She stopped at a building that seemed all too familiar to her. She sighed to herself, preparing to walk away, but she soon found her arm sleeve being tugged by someone. The red haired girl looked over her shoulder, expecting to see a gang member that was probably trying to pick a fight with her. Her eyes widened when she saw not a grown man behind her, but instead, a little girl - probably around six years old.

"Onee-chan..." the girl mumbled while choking on her tears. Kyouko flinched; Momo had been the only person that had ever called her that.

"W-what do you want?" Kyouko asked, feeling slightly panicky inside. In truth, she was never really good with kids. With a rough demeanor and twisted morals, she only ever scared children away.

Suddenly, the little girl let go of Kyouko's arm. She slowly began to back away, and ran for the stairs that led upwards of the building. The magical girl wasn't quite sure why, but her legs began to run after the child. After six flights of stairs, Kyouko found the girl standing right in front of a door with a beam of light emitting from it. Out of breath, Kyouko marched towards the little girl. After roughly three steps, Kyouko froze.

With light now being shone on the child, Kyouko could see more clearly. The girl was no ordinary kid off the streets. Kyouko just stood aside and watched as the little girl merged with the door and vanished. The magical girl gulped as she continued to walk towards it. With one hand in a fist, she gently knocked on the door.

As the door opened, behind it revealed a girl with her lush blonde hair tied in a loose ponytail and a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Kyouko could still recognize this girl, despite her appearance differing from her usual attire.

"... Sakura-san?" the girl asked, rubbing her eyes in disbelief.

"H-hey..." Kyouko greeted casually, flashing a smile at her old mentor. Mami's eyes immediately grew wide at the sight of her apprentice. Without hesitation, the older magical girl began to throw questions at her concerning her well-being.

"Do you have a cold, Sakura-san? Your face is beet red and you're kind of shivering. Would you like to come in?" Mami offered. She sneakily placed the back of her hand on top of Kyouko's forehead to measure her temperature, causing the latter girl to feel even more nervous than necessary.

"I don't need your hospitality!" Kyouko exclaimed, pushing Mami's hand away. The blonde haired girl sighed to herself.

"You're still as stubborn as ever, Sakura-san," she muttered under her breath.

"And you've gotten pushier," Kyouko retorted spitefully.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"... You really haven't changed at all, Mami..." Kyouko whispered, smiling to herself. Mami just shook her head and shot the red haired girl a puzzled look.

"So, what are you doing here?" Mami inquired. Kyouko could easily tell that her old mentor was skeptical.

"Relax, I'm not here to harm anyone. I just came to stop by, that's all." Mami arched an eyebrow, expecting more of an explanation than what she was just given. Kyouko, however, decided to ignore this hint.

"Really? I wouldn't expect you to come around again, especially since we don't really see eye-to-eye any more," Mami responded, "but I suppose no matter what happens, I just can't bring myself to think ill-mannered of you, Sakura-san. After all, you _were_ my apprentice."

"Tch, if you're always going to be this kind, you're going to get yourself hurt, you know," Kyouko scoffed scornfully. Mami simply giggled, but something was off about her laugh. To Kyouko, it almost seemed like her ex-mentor was in pain.

"You're right, Sakura-san, I might just end up getting hurt one day," she replied in agreement.

"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Kyouko asked, sounding frustrated. "Of course, that was a test, idiot. I left you, I betrayed you, and now you're pretending that I never hurt you?"

"You're right, Sakura-san. You hurt me. You left me. You abandoned me. You never treated me like a friend. You brought me down. You betrayed me," Mami said without a single hint of expression in her voice. Kyouko flinched at every word Mami spoke. Her chest felt like there were spikes piercing through her. Kyouko didn't expect Mami to be so blunt. "... That sounds cruel, right? You know I can never blame you for all of that, Sakura-san. You didn't hurt me - I hurt myself.

"My emotions don't stem from what you do - they come from how I react to things. Because of my own stupidity, I will always end up hurting myself."

Kyouko simply stood at the doorway, her head hung low. She stared at the cold hard cement floor for while, unsure what to say next. Kyouko was never one to understand such complex feelings.

"You're just too nice for your own good," Kyouko responded. She knew she sounded insensitive, but she couldn't help it. For whatever reason, Sakura Kyouko had always been unable to convey her true thoughts and feelings across.

"... I didn't think that was a bad thing," said Mami.

'_It's painfully obvious that you're hurting on the inside, Mami. Your kindness is your_ _stupidity,_' Kyouko thought to herself, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"You are one hell of a mentor," Kyouko grumbled.

"And you are one handful of a kouhai," Mami retorted.

The two stared hard at each other for a few long moment, neither of them saying anything for a while. Finally, Kyouko flipped her hair with her hand, and turned away from Mami.

"I guess I'll just see you around then... if you're still alive," Kyouko said as a farewell.

"Likewise," Mami replied. The red haired magical girl left with a smirk, and hastily ran for the stairs, not allowing herself to stop until she reached the bottom of the staircase. She looked up, taking one last look at the apartment building. It was no surprise to her when she saw Mami's door shut tight. Frowning to herself, Kyouko shoved her hands back into her pockets, and pulled out another pocky stick to eat.

'_I'm such an idiot..._'

Kyouko sat on a nearby bench in Mitakihara Park with her legs crossed. She leaned back in her seat and simply closed her eyes as the midnight breeze pressed against her. Kyouko cringed and shivered, cursing herself for not buying more clothes when she had the chance. Wearing short shorts and a sweater didn't seem to be enough to survive the winter coolness.

"Huh...? Kyouko?"

Kyouko tilted her head, her eyes catching sight of a girl with a blue bobcut wearing her usual schoolgirl outfit. It didn't take very long until Kyouko noticed a very fragile case in the girl's hand.

"Yo, Sayaka. Went to see that Kyousuke kid again?" Kyouko teased with a devious grin spread across her face. Sayaka gritted her teeth in annoyance.

"T-that's none of your business! But that aside, what are you doing here? It's well past midnight and probably negative two degrees celcius out here!" Sayaka asked, changing the subject.

"Tch, it could be 4 AM and negative twenty degrees for all I care," Kyouko rebutted, "but the same goes for you. I highly doubt you would just stand outside of his house, hoping for him to open the door in the middle of the night so he can just rush and hug you and then thank you for healing his arm. That's a thing called 'stalking', you know?"

"Of course I wasn't doing that, idiot," Sayaka mumbled quietly. The blue haired girl suddenly piped up and giggled in the same way she usually would- forced. "I was just doing some late night thinking, that's all."

"What a well thought out lie," Kyouko applauded sarcastically. "So? What's the truth?"

"... Why do you care? I thought you disliked me."

"Hmm, I guess you could say I don't particularly dislike you, but at the same time, I'm not your biggest fan either. Is it so wrong to care about other people's problems every once in a while?"

"You don't know the first thing about me."

"Hah, and why does that matter? Maybe sometimes we all just need someone else to decipher our feelings for us," Kyouko said in a sagely manner. Sayaka stared at Kyouko as if she had said something life changing.

"Kyouko..." she said, her eyes welling up with tears. Sayaka instantly jumped into Kyouko's arms and began to cry.

"H-hey, are you okay?" Kyouko asked, panicking slightly. Unsure with how to deal with the situation, all Kyouko could do was pat Sayaka's head a few times in a poor attempt to consolidate her.

"Hitomi... she... she..." Sayaka managed to get a few words out in between sobs. "She confessed her feelings to Kyousuke today... I saw them holding hands afterwards too... I'm an idiot... I was so stupid to listen to Kyuubey's words... I didn't really want to become a magical girl in the first place... I only wanted Kyousuke to get better, to see him smile, and as stupidly selfish as it sounds, I wanted him for myself...

"But I can't be with him... Hugs and kisses won't mean anything even if I did win him over... Because... because... I'm practically a zombie. I'm already dead. Love and happiness only exists with the living. I-I can't feel anything any more... I'm such an idiot. I'm a big idiot."

"Sayaka... If you think you're a big idiot, then I'm pretty sure I'm even worse than you," said Kyouko, her mouth moving on its own. "Wishing for someone else's sake only results in your loss. It's like an equivalent exchange thing... In order to make someone happy, you need to take someone else's away - it's just how it works.

"See, I used to live in a large church right by the border between Kasamino and Mitakihara, where my father worked as a preacher..." Kyouko began to explain her story in full detail. She told Sayaka about how she wanted to be a magical girl of justice, about how she felt like both she and her father were 'superheroes of the world', about how her father found out about her wish, and about how her family left her.

"It was a rough time for me. My family was gone, I lost my only friend, and most of all... I lost my will to live on. I really had no hope left. I had no home, no family, no friends, no money, no education and no reason. Even today, I still haven't found the answer yet - why I'm still alive. I guess that's what's keeping me here, though. I run around everywhere, not knowing where I should go next, trying to find out whether or not I belong here, and why.

"But you have a lot to live for, Sayaka. You can say and believe that us magical girls are practically zombies, and I won't deny it, but at least you can still feel _something. _You wouldn't be crying if you weren't sad and in pain. You wouldn't be smiling if nothing could make you happy, and you wouldn't be here if something wasn't keeping you alive. You have a future to look forward to, even if it's not with that Kyousuke guy. Heartbreak - it happens, it's not a condition that only affects magical girls. Newsflash, even regular people can feel that pain, but they get through it. You're a magical girl, Sayaka. You should be tougher than everyone else- no, you _are _stronger than everyone else. That's why I'm certain that you'll get over it, and I know better than anyone that you are strong enough to protect this city."

Sayaka's grip on Kyouko began to loosen. She backed up and gaped at her in awe. After a brief moment of silence, Sayaka sniffed and wiped her tears away from her eyes. Her lips curled into a genuine smile, and she began to laugh heartily.

"Kyouko... so you aren't just a clueless and dense buffoon after all!" the blue haired girl joked. Kyouko blushed.

"S-shut up," she fought back.

"Oh lighten up, I'm just kidding!" Sayaka patted Kyouko on the back. "But really, thank you for cheering me up."

"Hmph, just try not to get yourself killed," Kyouko commanded.

"Sure, sure, I got it," Sayaka promised and pretended to salute Kyouko. "I better go now. I still have school tomorrow and homework left unfinished..."

"Yeah yeah, do what you have to do." Sayaka smiled at Kyouko one last time before waving and parting ways. Kyouko sat back down on the bench, and grinned to herself.

'_I'm glad... That idiot acknowledged that there is a tomorrow for her._'_  
_

* * *

Mami heaved a sigh of relief. She was surprised that Kyouko didn't initiate a fight with Sayaka, but nevertheless, that was a good thing. The older magical girl had witnessed the entire conversation from afar.

"_Everything's fine, Kyuubey. Nothing happened,_" Mami reported back through telepathy.

"_Yep, I saw. You're glad too, aren't you? At least you didn't have to step in,_" Kyuubey replied. Mami flinched. She _did _have more a reason as to why she was glad nothing stirred up. She backed away from the park, and took a good look at the sign that stood at the entrance.

"Mitakihara Park..." she mumbled to herself. Bad memories quickly began to fill her head. She could clearly remember the crying from a familiar child and the frantic pleas from the child's mother, but the most prominent memory of all was when Mami had failed to save that little boy. Ever since that incident, Mami would not even step foot into the park again.

Though when Kyuubey called for her earlier regarding Kyouko and Sayaka being alone at a park, she couldn't allow herself to stand aside and do nothing, so she immediately ran for the park, even going as far as allowing herself to have her worst memories replay over and over again in her head for the sake of saving her friends.

But even though everything was resolved peacefully, there was one thing in particular that was glued tight into Mami's mind.

"_I lost my will to live on_." Those were Kyouko's exact words.

"Sakura-san..." Mami whispered. Even though Mami and Kyouko were not exactly friends, it still pained Mami to think about how at any moment, Kyouko could end her own life without much hesitation. Thoughts began to pour into Mami's head once again, this time, she saw nothing but happy memories she had with her old apprentice. The two were practically sisters.

Firming her resolve, Mami had her two hands in tight fists.

"I'll save you, Sakura-san. I will give you one last hope to hold onto. With my selfish nature, I will keep you on this planet. I promise..."

_Even if it's the last thing I do..._


End file.
